Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Universe Is Expanding

I hate endings. I'm bad with goodbyes - even when it makes sense, even when seasons are changing and people are changing and things aren't what they should be. I can barely handle all the bittersweet sentiments that such endings bring along. I get caught up in some stupid wave of nostalgia. I become hesitant to ever move forward. I become unsure of everything.

And then I think too much in general and end up feeling like young Woody Allen in the first five minutes of "Annie Hall."

Universe expansion aside, I feel like I'm moving in slow motion towards the inevitable end of something that's difficult to let go of. And that's why I'm not writing about zombies or dance parties or indie rock tonight. Tonight, I am a bit of a sad panda.

But enough melodrama. I should sleep. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. And if I don't, I'll pull up my Ice MC station on Pandora and blast ridiculously upbeat 90s eurodance until my mood improves.

Goodnight, friends.


  1. My favourite author, Douglas Coupland said this this once and I think it's one of the best things I'd ever heard: "I feel like I'm nostalgic for something that isn't even gone yet." - I paraphrased, but I think the general sentiment is still there.

    Anyways -I said it before and I'll say it again I feel like there's something about fall that brings out these sorts of feelings. Perhaps because this is your first fall not going back to school in a very long time. I've been out of school several years and I still feel weird in September.

  2. I think Allison must have a point. There's a global wave of nostalgic sentiment of late, I've noticed it on a few blogs I read and have felt it myself. Allison: you're a genius. Lauren: Watch a Pedro Almodovar film. Subtitled (and thus cool) and feel-good. And then report back with tales of happiness and optimism.

  3. Did you just call me a genius TbR? I feel like I should print this out and put it on my fridge!

  4. I can relate to this. I hold on to most things, even those that really didn't deserve to be held in the first place. Hope you cheer up. :)

  5. Allison - I think TbR's probably right about you being a genius. There definitely is an epidemic of nostalgia going around right now. Must be something about September. Also, I really like that quote. Kinda sums up a lot of what I've been feeling these days.

    TbR - I shall take your advice and track down some Pedro Almodovar films. Do you have a suggestion of one I should start with?

    Z.J. - Thanks. :) I'm sure I'll cheer up eventually.

  6. I love your blog! I'm new to it, and can't wait to read more!

    Hope you have a better day!

  7. Walking away from things ALWAYS sucks. Especially when there's a part of you that wants to hang on.

    Hope you felt better after sleep!


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