The Characters

Here's the list of major characters from the good old days of living in an artist's community...


The Characters

The Chef - A flamboyant 60-year-old man who is never afraid to say what's on his mind.  He paints, cooks, makes hats, takes photographs, and makes psychedelic "sound sculptures" out of old air mattresses.  He is also infamous for making fake announcements out the window through a cardboard tube.  

The Fallen Nun -  A twenty-something anarchist chick who previously lived in the woods.  She is passionate about gardening, equality, and chocolate pudding cake.  I'm not really sure why we all refer to her as "The Nun" - she has definitely never been Catholic. 

The Fonz - A neurotic man in his thirties who strives to model his life after Fonzie from "Happy Days."  He is the founder of several clubs here, including (but not limited to) Goal Club, Salad Club, Compliment Club, and Sex Talk Club.  He loves 80's dance music and potato salad. 

The Poet - This guy is the building's unofficial concierge - no one really comes or goes without his knowledge.  He's in his fifties but doesn't like to admit it.  He usually wears a leather jacket, a rock and roll T-shirt, and Converse tennis shoes.  His diet consists of coffee and Ritz crackers with various condiments on them.  He's been ridiculously encouraging of my rock and roll endeavors since day one. 

Purple Hair - This girl lives right next door to me and is the definition of a free spirit.  She has the ability to pull off combinations of colorful clothing that I would never dream of leaving the house in.  She makes crazy shoes that would make Lady Gaga jealous.

Mr. Merry Christmas Forever - He is one of the strangest, most reclusive and intelligent people I have ever met.  He has a homemade monk haircut and lives with a woman that never talks.  He's written multiple novels since he's moved in.  He occasionally sends me emails even though he lives across the hall from me.  Sometimes, he burns weird British bands onto a CD and will melodramatically hands it to me when I pass him in the hallway.  He's infamous for greeting people enthusiastically when he walks by and has been known to yell "Merry Christmas" off season. 

Mr. Syracuse -  One of the more "normal" residents.  He's in his late twenties and recently moved to Portland for a fresh start.  He screen-prints his own T-shirts and loves hip-hop music. 

Tweaked Out Elvis Costello - Picture Elvis Costello circa "My Aim Is True."  Now picture that Elvis Costello on way too many drugs.  That's this guy.  When I first moved in, I hung out with him for about a week and a half because we were both musicians and I found him really interesting (mostly because I had just dropped out of a social circle full of fairly boring and responsible people).  However, it didn't take long for me to realize that this guy is really messed up.  I don't actively seek out his company, but occasionally he shows up to parties and tosses cake at the radiator.

That definitely isn't everyone, but it's most of the main crew and a couple of side characters.  I will keep updating this list as more people pop up in my posts. 

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