Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Weekly Column :)

Why is everyone looking at me like that?!
Oh hi.  I'm Lauren.  Perhaps you remember me?  I used to blog here... 

I apologize yet again for my ongoing lack of interesting posts.  Real life has been demanding a lot of my attention.  I feel like lots of things have been happening and not happening simultaneously.

The good news is that you can read about some of those things over at my new column.  :)

I ended up getting a weekly spot in the Life After College section of  It's my first time being published anywhere that isn't a personal blog, so I'm really excited about it. 

I promise I'm not going to give up this blog and I'm even going to start posting regularly again (I could give you my excuses but you've heard them all before).  In the meantime, I would love it if you checked out the stuff I've been writing for my column.  It's called "It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time" and is sort of like what "lauren vs. reality" would be if I gave myself deadlines and a word limit.

Oh, and each post is complete with a weird little video.  I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you'll probably want to watch those.  At least the one where I'm standing in line next to Yoda.  It's here.  The one where I eat peanut butter is supposedly good too. 

Anyway, feel free to check all that stuff out.  And who knows - maybe by the time you catch up on my posts/videos over there, I'll have something new up over here.  Just maybe.  :)

Peace and love, amigos.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

How Did I Get HERE???

The past month has been really weird.  Actually, the past few months have been really weird.  Scratch that - everything that has happened since I graduated from college has been really weird.  Yes, I know that was two years ago.

Now that I think about it, college was probably really weird too, in it's own way.

If you spend your whole life living through situations that are "pretty weird," does that make it normal?

I digress.  I've been trying very hard lately to get my act together.  Too hard.  In fact, I briefly got so caught up in the thought that I need to make money that I acquired a full time job as a traveling mop saleswoman. 

This mop will change the way you clean your house.  It will clean your house from top to bottom and I know you want one.  You want one over there.  And I can see that you want one, too.  AND IT'S ONLY $29.99!

...Doesn't everybody go through a phase where they want to be Billy Mays???

I told you that things have been weird.

The good part of this story is that the job was so depressing, strange, and soul-crushing that I came to my senses and quit.  I told my awkward, Sarah Palin-esque boss that selling mops on commission was not my thing and got the heck out of that department store. 

Sarah Palin The Mop Boss looked slightly surprised when I did this.  I guess most people don't quit on the third day of training. 

I added "Enthusiastic Mop Salesperson" to the list of stupid jobs I've had and tried not to think about how long that list is these days. 

It's all either really funny or really discouraging, depending on what sort of mood I'm in.  And now that it's a new month and there's a new round of bills to pay, I'm back to cruising the "gigs" section on Craigslist.  Ugh.  I'm really ready for someone to just pay me to just be a rock and roll diva.  That would solve so many problems. 

Something cool happened yesterday, though...  

An online magazine out of LA published my article!  It's my first time being published in something that isn't a personal blog, so I'm really excited.  If they like the traffic/feedback I get, I might get to be a weekly columnist in their "Life After College" section. 

The article I wrote was about a particularly crappy job I found on Craigslist.  If you want to check it out (and I would love it if you did), the link is here:  It's complete with the standard quirky-Lauren video.  Click "like," leave comments... you know what to do.  :)

I think this just turned into a commercial.  It wasn't supposed to. 

There's probably a Billy Mays joke to be made right here but I'm having a hard time constructing it.  So I will just leave you with an existential picture of me in the woods. 

Story of my life...
Peace and love, amigos.