Monday, February 27, 2012

The Hiatus Ends NOW

Forgive me, for I have sinned. I have neglected this poor blog yet again. I have failed to post regularly.

I think it started because I was moping around my parents' house feeling like I had failed at being a successful human. Not only did I feel self-conscious about dumping even more of my quarter-life crisis onto the blogosphere, but I just didn't have anything that interesting to say.

Fortunately, the moping period didn't last very long. Somehow, I managed to get a grip on myself. We went out for coffee, actually. Myself and I. I sat myself down and we had the following conversation:

Me: Lauren, you're not actually a loser, but you're going to become one if you continue to sit in your parents' basement.
Myself: But I'm promoting my musical career!
Me: It looks like you're looking at pictures of your college friends on Facebook...
Myself: I was taking a break!
Me: Look. You are living in YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE. That's the one thing you said you wouldn't let happen and it's happening. What are you going to do about it?
Myself: Tweet Perez Hilton repeatedly in hopes that he will make me famous?
Me: NO! You have to actually LEAVE the house and DO THINGS.
Myself: I took a walk yesterday.
Me: When the Internet went down? That doesn't count. Dude, I know we both hate the idea of having a boss, but it's time to find some way to make some money.
Myself: I can work on marketing my greeting cards better...
Me: Lauren. Your little brother is going to come home from college this summer and if you're still living here when he moves back in, you're going to feel like you're 14.
Myself: I'm not 14?
Me: ...No. It's time to girl up get stuff done.
Myself: *sigh* You're probably right.
Me: Of course I'm right!

So I got out of my weird little funk and started throwing my name out there. I applied to jobs that sounded horrible and soul-sucking. I checked the gigs section on Craigslist three times a day, sending email inquiries to questionable sources and refreshing my inbox every five minutes to see if anything was going to work.

And slowly, things started happening. Which is the other reason I haven't been updating this blog - I've been running around acquiring funny stories faster than I can type them out.

Yes, I've been hoarding stories. It's horrible, but true. But the only thing I have going on tonight involves watching "The Bachelor" (don't judge). And now that I've broken the silence, the rest of the posts will be easier to write. I'm going to do my best to catch you guys up on the ongoing sitcom that is my life.

I promise that these stories will be everything but boring...

Friday, February 10, 2012


I recently collaborated with The Poet on a song called "Breathe." He handed me the lyrics one night last spring and I did my best to bring them to life musically. I'm very pleased with the results.

Actually, it's become one of my favorite songs in my repertoire.

Though I feel like my voice is lower than normal in this song. I had a sore throat when I recorded it. And it was late. And I was grumpy. And I was trying to be the female David Bowie but instead ended up sounding more like Annie Lennox. I actually fully intended to redo the vocals, but people were like "No, chicks with deep voices are sexy!" So I kept it like it was.

Anyway, I'm rambling here. I feel very Lennon and McCartney with this whole music collaboration thing. Except I think that I would be McCartney in this scenario, and I'm totally a Lennon. Or maybe I just strive to be a Lennon but in reality am a McCartney?


Last fall, I filmed this video around my old neighborhood. I figure that all artists have to have a low budget music video that screams "I'M BROKE AND LIVE IN THE GHETTO," so this is mine.

Enjoy. :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I Moved Out Just In Time...

I'm not really into having regrets, but I've been having the thought that maybe I should have stayed in the artist's community until I had a solid escape plan. Because even though it was weird and depressing and full of fairly unstable people on strange cocktails of synthetic drugs, it was also in the city that I love and was full of creative people who understood me. And after living in that sort of environment for over a year, going back to my parents' house in the country initially felt like someone pressed a giant "PAUSE" button and my exciting sit-com of a life was on hold.

After all, it's so quiet at night out here. I'm sort of used to the constant noise of traffic. The sound of cop cars. Drunk people fighting outside my window. Turrets Guy waiting for the bus. It doesn't get much better than "Dammit dammit dammit dammit!" Out here there are no Turrets Guys. Out here there is mostly silence. And large fields.

I don't really regret leaving the artist's community, though. In fact, I think I left at the perfect time.

I learned yesterday that a pipe in my old bathroom burst at about three o'clock in the morning, flooding the entire apartment. The resident maintenance guy didn't know how to shut the water off, so the water leaked into the hallway. It also dripped through the floor and got the guy below, then kept going, flooding part of the gallery in the basement.

When I heard this news, I couldn't stop laughing. Then I just got this image in my brain of my old messy room - papers, clothes, and electronics everywhere. And for a second, I imagined that room full of water. So many things would have been toast!

Not to mention I would have had to deal with a surprise water attack in the middle of the night...

All regrets I might have had about moving out are now gone.

After all, there is no such thing as a "PAUSE" button. So, it's onwards and upwards.

Whatever that means.