Forgive me, for I have sinned. I have neglected this poor blog yet again. I have failed to post regularly.
I think it started because I was moping around my parents' house feeling like I had failed at being a successful human. Not only did I feel self-conscious about dumping even more of my quarter-life crisis onto the blogosphere, but I just didn't have anything that interesting to say.
Fortunately, the moping period didn't last very long. Somehow, I managed to get a grip on myself. We went out for coffee, actually. Myself and I. I sat myself down and we had the following conversation:
Me: Lauren, you're not actually a loser, but you're going to become one if you continue to sit in your parents' basement.
Myself: But I'm promoting my musical career!
Me: It looks like you're looking at pictures of your college friends on Facebook...
Myself: I was taking a break!
Me: Look. You are living in YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE. That's the one thing you said you wouldn't let happen and it's happening. What are you going to do about it?
Myself: Tweet Perez Hilton repeatedly in hopes that he will make me famous?
Me: NO! You have to actually LEAVE the house and DO THINGS.
Myself: I took a walk yesterday.
Me: When the Internet went down? That doesn't count. Dude, I know we both hate the idea of having a boss, but it's time to find some way to make some money.
Myself: I can work on marketing my greeting cards better...
Me: Lauren. Your little brother is going to come home from college this summer and if you're still living here when he moves back in, you're going to feel like you're 14.
Myself: I'm not 14?
Me: ...No. It's time to girl up get stuff done.
Myself: *sigh* You're probably right.
Me: Of course I'm right!
So I got out of my weird little funk and started throwing my name out there. I applied to jobs that sounded horrible and soul-sucking. I checked the gigs section on Craigslist three times a day, sending email inquiries to questionable sources and refreshing my inbox every five minutes to see if anything was going to work.
And slowly, things started happening. Which is the other reason I haven't been updating this blog - I've been running around acquiring funny stories faster than I can type them out.
Yes, I've been hoarding stories. It's horrible, but true. But the only thing I have going on tonight involves watching "The Bachelor" (don't judge). And now that I've broken the silence, the rest of the posts will be easier to write. I'm going to do my best to catch you guys up on the ongoing sitcom that is my life.
I promise that these stories will be everything but boring...