I Moved Out Just In Time...

I'm not really into having regrets, but I've been having the thought that maybe I should have stayed in the artist's community until I had a solid escape plan. Because even though it was weird and depressing and full of fairly unstable people on strange cocktails of synthetic drugs, it was also in the city that I love and was full of creative people who understood me. And after living in that sort of environment for over a year, going back to my parents' house in the country initially felt like someone pressed a giant "PAUSE" button and my exciting sit-com of a life was on hold.

After all, it's so quiet at night out here. I'm sort of used to the constant noise of traffic. The sound of cop cars. Drunk people fighting outside my window. Turrets Guy waiting for the bus. It doesn't get much better than "Dammit dammit dammit dammit!" Out here there are no Turrets Guys. Out here there is mostly silence. And large fields.

I don't really regret leaving the artist's community, though. In fact, I think I left at the perfect time.

I learned yesterday that a pipe in my old bathroom burst at about three o'clock in the morning, flooding the entire apartment. The resident maintenance guy didn't know how to shut the water off, so the water leaked into the hallway. It also dripped through the floor and got the guy below, then kept going, flooding part of the gallery in the basement.

When I heard this news, I couldn't stop laughing. Then I just got this image in my brain of my old messy room - papers, clothes, and electronics everywhere. And for a second, I imagined that room full of water. So many things would have been toast!

Not to mention I would have had to deal with a surprise water attack in the middle of the night...

All regrets I might have had about moving out are now gone.

After all, there is no such thing as a "PAUSE" button. So, it's onwards and upwards.

Whatever that means.

And The Madness Begins...

It's a dark and rainy Friday night over here. A couple of people wanted me to go out but I told them I was sick. Which is code for "I am in an emotionally fragile state and prefer to spend the evening watching episodes of 'The Middle' while eating stale pretzels."

Now that I think about it, I may choose to be in that very same emotionally fragile state tomorrow night too and have a quiet yet sophisticated New Year's Eve with myself and a plate of microwaved nachos. I've had several people approach me regarding my plans, but no one has actually invited me anywhere. In fact, people seem like they want me to organize their New Year's plans. And there is no party planned here at the art asylum, but people seem to think there should be one and that I should DJ it. I love being the go-to DJ girl and I'm glad that I have friends want to hang out with me on New Year's, but I just don't have the energy this year to spend hours DJing some drunken year-end bash or be the evening coordinator (and driver) for some over-priced, over-crowded night out.

Truth is, I've gotten myself so stressed out over my upcoming move that I've been socially shutting down over the past few days. My plan wasn't really coming together, so I went for my back-up option and told The Management I need to extend my notice until the beginning of February. They promptly sent me an email informing me that my room had already been rented out and I needed to vacate on the 11th originally planned.

Lesson learned: Don't light a fire under your butt unless you know for sure you can run fast enough.

So what's going to happen?

I'm not entirely sure.

Here's what I do know:

I'm moving my stuff back to my parents' house for right now. I've got a one-way plane ticket to Orlando, Florida. Plane leaves on the 11th. I have an aunt and uncle in Florida that I've seen approximately four times in my life but I remember them as being really nice and they've invited me to stay for awhile.

And after Florida? Location is still TBD.

Of course, I made the mistake of accidentally going public with this whole moving out thing before I was really ready to. I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff, so naturally I put a pile in the hall for people to dig through (keeping up with the tradition of Portland being a friendly free-pile city). I wanted the stuff to actually go away, so I went on Facebook and mentioned the pile on my status.

BAM! Just like that, the world put two-and-two together and began to ask me why, when, and where I am moving.

I realize these are all fair questions. But why is unnecessary, when is scary, and where is just plain unknown. Because I can say I'm going to Florida, but then people want to know what I'm going to do in Florida, if I'm going to move to Florida, am I coming back to Portland, where will I go after that, and do I have a place in mind, and what will become of my rock and roll career, and will I ever get a job or will I just spend my days bumming around the country on free flight vouchers I received after getting bumped from a flight that I didn't pay for to begin with because I was a radio contest winner?

But on top of feeling nervous and frantic, I am really quite excited about all of this. I mean, who knows where this trip is going to take me.

And Florida seems like a great place to start. Mostly because I've never been there, I know people there, and I've had palm trees on the brain ever since I watched Johnny Depp drunkenly stumble around in "The Rum Diary" (it was a mediocre film, but it inspired me to go somewhere warm).

So, bring on the new year. Unlike the Mayans, I have a good feeling about 2012.

Fun New Facts

Last night was a rough night at the artist's community. I might write about it tomorrow or I might just move on and be thankful that no one is dead. I am exhausted right now, but I can report the following facts:

I gave my notice today. I am moving out on January 11th.

I don't know exactly where I'm going on January 11th. I just know that I can't stay here.

The fundraiser I mentioned in my last post was miraculously successful and we raised enough money as a community to save our two friends from being evicted. I am in awe of the final score...
Human Kindness: 2
Eviction: 0

I also learned tonight that sometimes, when things seem overwhelming and complicated, being a gay man's date to a Christmas party at a bowling alley is the best thing you can do for your mental health.

More coherent thoughts later. It's bed time for Lauren.

Peace and love.

What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf? TIME TO LIVE IN A COMMUNE!

So today was the infamous moving day. I now live in an "artist's community" that was formerly a creepy old folks' home.

As you probably suspected, I'm a little exhausted. But I thought I would share with you a short list of quotes from today that really sum everything up.

This list will begin now ("Beginning list, Captain!"):

White dude with sideways baseball cap and baggy pants: "So, the security sweeps...will those be like every night? Will I have to let them in my room?"
Landlord: "Oh no, they won't be going in your room. Someone will just be going through the halls and making sure there aren't any prositutes hanging around or anything."
Old hippy man: "So you won't know if I have grow lamps running?"

Man in tight pants that looks like Frodo Baggins: "So, um, can we like earn credit towards buying miniature refrigerators?"
Landlord: "Um...what?"
Man in tight pants that looks like Frodo Baggins: "Can we get points towards mini fridges?"
Landlord: "Uhh...there's a Standard TV and Appliance down the road..."

My mom: "Lauren, there's a hole in your bathroom wall."
Me: "Holy crap..."

My mom: "I have to go to the bathroom and I'm not going to use yours while the Mexican construction workers are in there fixing your wall...I'm gonna go try those public restrooms down the hall."
Me: "Okay, I have to go to, I'll join you."
(We look inside the ladies' restroom)
Me: "I don't have to go anymore."
My mom: "Yeah...I can hold it."

Old guy who is excited about banjos: "Hey, you're a musician dude, right? Did you see my banjo? I just moved it in?"
Me: "Yeah, I saw somebody going up the stairs with a banjo..."
Old guy who is excited about banjos: "Which one was it? Was it silver made of wood?
Me: "I don't know, I just noticed that it was a banjo..."
Old guy who is excited about banjos: "By the way, I'm going to have bluegrass jams at my place!"

(while wondering around the deserted hallways)
My friends Chad, David, and Megan: "This place reminds me of 'Twelve Monkeys.'"

(Chad and I are carrying stuff up to my room)
Gorgeous Man Lurking Around The Kitchen: "Hey, how's it goin?"
(Chad and I continue up the stairs after some breif introductions and small talk)
Chad: "That guy is so gay. Totally eyeing me."
Me: "He's not gay! He's just pretty."
Chad: "Straight guys don't dress that well. He's at least bisexual."

All of us: "Oh man, somebody's really smokin a joint right now..."

Sign on the wall: "ATTENTION RESIDENTS - Hot water in the building will not be working until Tuesday."

The place was deserted tonight, with the exception of the gorgeous man lurking around the kitchen and some short-haired blonde chick who was hot boxin it up in her room. I enjoy having the ability to take showers, so I took the liberty of going back to my parent's house for the night. I'll go back tomorrow to move a few more things in and organize my new room.

Everyone keeps telling me I'm so brave for trying this commune thing. I'm really not that brave. In fact, I think I've spent the last 24 hours going "OMG, I'm moving into a commune full of strangers! What am I thinking?" Nah, I'm not brave. I'm just curious and ready for a change.

And you know what? I am so excited. Really. :D

That is, despite the fact I probably won't fully move in until Tuesday now because of the hot water issue. The place is still under a bit of construction. It should be really cool when it all comes together. It already is pretty cool, but hopefully it will soon become the pee-in-the-hallway-bathrooms-without-the-fear-of-getting-a-disease kind of cool.

Oh man. I live for new adventures. I feel strangely optimistic tonight. It's a good feeling.

I promise I'll write a more coherent post on all of this sometime in the near future. But for now - this is Lauren The Starving Artist, signing off!

Confessions of a Pack Rat

So today I continued to pack and surf for jobs today.  I found a pretty good job on Craigslist that pays $15 an hour.  But when I clicked on it and read the description I discovered that it was for the job of "Cremation Assistant" at a local crematorium.  "Must be energetic, hard-working, and comfortable lifting bodies of the deceased."  Hmmm, I think I'll pass on that one.

Packing is just as fun as job hunting.  My room is a disaster, so it's a cleaning mission as well.  At one point I got tired of it and decided to make a documentary.  Watch it at your own risk. 

Okay, so I exaggerate a little bit for entertainment purposes.  But it's still not a pretty sight.  

Aaaand now that you're all going to click "unfollow" and report me to TLC to be featured on that show about hoarders...

Looks like it's bed time for Lauren!  Goodnight, gang.  :)

Moving On Up (To The East Side)

Friday is the day, boys and girls.

I'm moving out.

I'm leaving the comfort of my parent's house. I'm launching myself into the world. I'm going to live in a huge commune full of artists and musicians.

Am I excited? Totally.

Am I scared out of my mind? Completely.

After all, I'm still unemployed. I'm scrambling to come up with some source of steady income. Once I get all packed and moved out, my full time job will be to find a job. It's no easy task in this wretched economy. I think I have every right to be scared out of my mind.

But I think it will be good for me. It's a step forward, which is a step in the right direction.

Speaking of the right direction, I've been thinking a lot about my where I'm at and where I should be right now and have decided that my three main priorities are now currently as follows:

1) Get moved into the new place and make an effort to be a part of the community there.
2) Get a job (doesn't have to be anything special - just has to be a source of income).
3) Focus on music, specifically getting the band up and running again (we practice weekly but still haven't performed since May).

If I can do those three things, my life will feel a bit more in balance and then everything else should fall right into place.

So in other words, it's time for Lauren to kick it into world domination mode! "Engaging world domination mode, Captain!"

Over and out.