Friday, September 17, 2010

Adventures In Special Ed (And Other Friday Ramblings)

So I've been working a little bit in the past couple of days.

Don't get too excited, it's just a part-time sub job. Should last about a week. That is, unless I'm feeling brave and want to apply for the position permanently. Which might not be a bad idea, considering that I'm moving out in a couple of weeks and the rent money needs to come from somewhere. But I need to give myself another day or two with this job to know I can handle it.

Traditionally, I avoid children. I have little to no passion for the education system and very limited knowledge about how to deal with those labeled as "special ed kids." But when I got the call asking if I could spend a week hanging out with an autistic kindergarten boy for a couple of hours each day, I said "yes" because I need any means of employment I can find.

I was dreading it. My last experience with special ed involved chasing a severely retarded and extremely violent two-hundred-pound black girl down the hallway, so I wasn't exactly thrilled to do it again.

But alas, I drove my rock star butt over to the grade school yesterday morning and signed in at the front office. Next thing I knew, I was being introduced to Gabe.

Gabe is Mexican but doesn't really speak much Spanish or English. He's still in the process of being tested but they're thinking he's autistic. He likes to dance while he walks and make bizarre animal sounds. He loves high fives and coloring scribbling.

And after about an hour of cutting, gluing, playing, and reading with him, I deactivated the cynical part of my brain and decided he's adorable.

Okay, so he wasn't that adorable when he threw a big stomping fit because he didn't want to wear a coat outside. Or when he accidentally spit on me. Or when he insisted on laying under the table with his hands down his pants while the teacher was trying to read everyone a story. But most other times he was adorable. And I think he likes me. He's my new little friend.

He sits next to a little Italian kid named Jeovanny (yes, spelled just like that). Okay, he could be Arabic or even Asian for all I know. I have the hardest time telling what nationality kids are these days. Anyway, Jeovanny wears his hair all greased up in a faux hawk and has a gold chain hanging around his neck. Today he drew a picture of a stick figure with big circles on his arms. "It's a man with muscles!" he informs me.

"Is that you?" I ask (using my kid-friendly voice, of course). "Do you have muscles, Jeovanny?"
He frowns. "No, I do not have muscles, I only have bones. Someday, I have muscles."

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you America's Next Top Mob Boss.

Jeovanny also told me that he plays the drums and demonstrated with crayons on the edge of the table. "Look, I play drums!" he says, beating the crap out of two crayons.

Okay, so maybe Jeovanny made my "adorable" list today as well. *sigh* I think it was the faux hawk that did it.

I know, I know. The fact that I just used the word "adorable" to describe real live children is all a little Twilight Zone-ish. Moving on.

I got roped into getting the music together for my cousin's wedding ceremony tomorrow. It's all a bit last minute but I will do my best to go into DJ Lauren mode and get it done. If my cousin hadn't specifically specified that she liked music with "a bit of a twang" (and also if it wasn't the most important day of her life), I would totally bust out this CD I found on Amazon today while surfing for appropriate music.'s hair metal versions of traditional wedding music.

There. Does that make up for admitting to occasionally liking children? :P

On a completely unrelated side note, I believe this is post #91. That means post #100 is coming right up! Holy Toledo, Batman! I really should come up with something epic for #100. Any grand ideas?

Hehe. I'm sure I'll think of something. Maybe I'll make some sort of list about something mildly interesting that goes all the way to 100. Maybe I'll write a song and film myself playing it on the keytar. Or maybe I'll just do a bunch of shout-outs to all my bloggy amigos. Who knows. We'll see what happens.

And with that, I'm off like a herd of turtles. I need to figure out what I'm wearing to the wedding tomorrow (probably some sort of dress that I can wrangle audio equipment in). Then I need to meet up with my friends to stay up half the night watching b-rated horror films (yes, that is a need - bad movie nights are my favorite).

Happy Friday, amigos.


  1. My 100th post was a playlist...I think I just stuck a photo of a cupcake at the bottom of the post. BUT I did a post when my blog turned 1. I re-caped all the fun I'd had on my blog and such over the year.

    A song would be fantastic.

  2. I'm totally getting that CD, although I don't know anyone who's getting married soon. It made me think of Twisted Sister's "A Twisted Christmas" album.

  3. Haha. I loved that you found that you might kinda sorta like kids. :)

  4. Jeovanny is something you just CAN'T make up. I love it.

  5. I hope the wedding went well...I've been such a crap blog-buddy and feel that I've missed so much.

    I think you should stay on Jeovanny's good side. Seriously, when he's older you'll be grateful. You don't want to end up sleeping with the fishes now, do you.

  6. I must get that CD, just because of the Metallica cover and it's resemblance to Twisted Christmas.


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