The Day I Met Fred

Do you ever have one of those days where you are completely on your game from the minute you wake up to the minute you collapse in front of the television? You know, the kind of day where everything that comes out of your mouth is hilarious and strangers constantly compliment your outfit (even though it should have been laundry day two days ago and you're wearing the exact same thing you wore yesterday)? A day where the sun seems to be shining just for you, all the songs on the radio make you scream "I LOVE THIS SONG," and the world seems not only friendly, but completely conquerable?

Honestly, I don't have these kinds of days very often. But yesterday was totally that kind of day. And it was the best.

There were a lot of great moments yesterday. I was walking Jane The Pit Bull and a car full of teenagers drove by and yelled "You two are so cute!!!" There was a guy who stopped me on the street just to tell me he liked my shoes. I spontaneously ran into an old friend from college. I ate waffles on the sidewalk with my little brother. I made friends with a tattooed man who loves pit bulls. I helped rescue a small, leash-less dog from a busy street (while singing this song to myself the whole time, naturally). I made an epic sandwich. I had productive text message conversations.

But this is not a story about any of that.

This is a story about Fred Armisen.


As many of you know, Mr. Armisen is currently starring in the show "Portlandia," which is being filmed in my city. Supposedly, they're even going to call me to be an extra in it at some point. Anyway, I had heard a rumor that there was a film crew set up a few blocks away from where I was eating waffles with my brother. So I casually walked over there, dragging my brother and my pit bull with me. I was hoping it would be "Portlandia" but was expecting an unknown indie film.

But the first thing I saw when we got there was Carrie Brownstein riding around on a motorized unicycle of sorts, and I knew we had stumbled upon "Portlandia."

I was still taking in the scene when Fred Armisen walked across the street and joined us in the shade. He was wearing a ridiculous outfit, complete with a wig and a gigantic motorcycle helmet. It was all a little bit surreal.

I'm infamous for acting like a total retard around celebrities, but talking to Fred Armisen seemed surprisingly natural. I made fun of his outfit with him and asked him about the sketch they were filming. He explained it to me and we talked a little bit about "Portlandia" in general. He commented that my brother and I look a lot alike. We laughed and told him we're related. He was like, "Oh, that makes sense. Cool. Who's older?" I told him I was by about six years and he acted surprised (in a very dead-pan, Fred Armisan kind of way).

Apparently, Fred loves dogs. He petted Jane The Pit Bull and told me I had a great dog. I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't really my dog. An intense looking bearded guy rode by on a bicycle and we made some jokes about him. Then someone walked by with a giant bag of books and Fred simply said, "Wow...somebody has a lot of books."

It was then time for Fred to go back to filming, so he said "goodbye" to us and returned to the set across the street.

It's definitely my new favorite celebrity encounter story.

Not to mention the highlight of my day/week/month.