Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not So Hippy Dippy After All

I recently had a profound realization:

I am not a hippy.

Yes, I believe in peace and love. I live in a commune. I just had feathers attached to my head as hair extensions (see picture). I dream of making the world a better place through music. It bothers me when people don't recycle. I own the original Broadway recording of "Hair." I have friends of all ages and I identify these friends by the type of art that they make. I've participated in a Solstice celebration. I think that reading Walt Whitman aloud by candlelight is a legitimately fun group activity.

But I am not really a hippy.

I have no interest in growing my own vegetables. I am okay with shopping at grocery stores. I enjoy eating meat. I have nothing against the organic movement, but I'm never going to sit and complain about artificial flavors in my ice cream. I have a deep respect for woman who don't shave their armpits, but I personally need to on a regular basis. I believe in feminism (to a certain extent), but I also believe in wearing a bra.

I have no desire to ever be openly naked among others. I never want to go to Burning Man. I'm not into drugs. The constant smell of marijuana gives me a headache. Though I sometimes look at my horoscope in the paper, I don't make assumptions about people based on astrological signs. I have never practiced any Eastern religions.

I own multiple fur coats. I drink a latte at Starbucks occasionally. Daily bathing is important to me. I hate camping. I could never live in the woods. When there is a spider in my room, I mercilessly kill it. Sometimes, I listen to totally processed, auto-tuned pop music. Sometimes, I disregard the fact that cars are hard on the environment and I drive to a place that is close enough to walk.

Six months ago, I packed up my life and naively moved into this "artistic community." Six months later, I feel like everything has changed completely but I know that isn't true. I am still Lauren. It just so happens that this year's model of Lauren comes equipped with a love of granola and a fear of brownies.

At least I have finally recognized this simple truth: I will never be an actual hippy.

But that's really okay.

I guess it's time to face reality and get a job of some sort. Hmmfph.


  1. wish I cud say something to make u feel any better!

  2. I love eating meat and and hate camping too! I also need daily showers and have to shave. I could never be a hippy either.

  3. Did you ever get that job at the restaurant you applied for?

    I'm not a hippy either, but I DO love granola. And, for the record, your feathers are hawt.

  4. It's okay to reboot, redesign and update as many times as needed. Apple does it constantly. Living many lives before you depart makes you that much more interesting a soul.

    But don't fear the brownies. Not all of them, anyway.

  5. I think it all depends on how one defines "hippy."

  6. I think you could be defined as a "hippie at heart" just not 100% authentic hippie.

  7. This is why defining people doesn't work.

    Jobs aren't so bad. I have three and I just had two days off.

    Oh wait, I quit one. I have two. Man is it hard to keep track. See, you can be a hippie with a job (or two)!

  8. I know what you mean... I'll never be a true hippie either. I'm like "imitation crab"... only it's "imitation hippie". =[

  9. I could never be a hippie either.


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