Except that I remember being bit by an extraordinarily large mosquito one night last week when I was out on the stoop with The Poet and The Mad Scientist. It's no coincidence that I started feeling under the weather a few days later. I think we all know what that means: I HAVE THE WEST NILE VIRUS!
NOTE: I hope you know I'm being melodramatic for comedic purposes. I don't really think I have The West Nile Virus. But then again, I'm not allowing myself to look at WebMD right now, so I haven't checked the symptoms.
In other news, I did eat a tuna fish sandwich last week. And we all know that tuna fish has a recent history of being radioactive because of the disasters in Japan. That being said, I'm half expecting to wake up after several days of feeling crummy and suddenly have the ability to move stuff with my mind and maybe shoot laser beams out of my eyes.
I think it will be pretty cool once I get used to it...
I was about to say something stupid like, "It will be just like Spiderman!" But then I remembered two things:
1) Spiderman is kinda lame and has a dumb outfit! Though who doesn't love those tight pants...
2) Spiderman was bit by a radioactive spider and therefore has spider-like qualities. According to this logic, eating radioactive tuna would give me, um, tuna-like qualities.
|"Yo, I'm the chicken of the sea!"|
This whole tuna fish-induced radioactive super powers thing is slowly going from being a live action version of the paintings The Chef graciously hung in the kitchen....
|Brilliant! Simply brilliant! What will that man paint next?|
|Don't ask me how my brain works. I don't know. I just don't know.|
I think I'm going to go gorge myself on leftover pizza delicately eat a piece of fruit.
Peace out, amigos. More interesting and relevant thoughts later, I promise.