Friday, September 23, 2011

My New Concept Album

I'm working on a concept album entitled "Seen And Heard On 82nd Avenue." Naturally, it's based on things I've seen and heard while both sitting on my front stoop and looking out my window.

Tracks include:

• "Is That Guy In The Park Sleeping Or Dead?"

• "Imma Shoot You!"

• "No I Don't Have A Cigarette And I Know That's Not What You Really Mean"


• "I Don't Care How Hot It Is Out Here - When You Look Like THAT, You Shouldn't Wear THAT!"


• "Wait Up, You B@#$% A$$ M@#$&% F@#$&%!"


• "Heyyy, Do You Folks Have Gaaanja?"


• "Somebody Get That Girl Off Of That Bicycle And Into Rehab"


• "Man With Turrets Waiting For The Bus"


• "Sorry, I Don't Have A Lighter"


• "Seriously Guys, I Do Brain Imaging For The Government!"

• "The Bus Stop Is NOT A Urinal!"

• "Here Come The Cops!"

• "Imma Cut You!"

"We Are Not Being Abducted By Aliens" (this track is simply the sound of the bus stop being power-washed at 2am)

This album will surely come with a panoramic photo of the scenic 82nd Avenue. It will also come with a parental advisory warning.

You will LOVE it.


P.S: This is all a joke, in case you couldn't tell...

P.P.S: My neighborhood isn't really as bad as I just made it sound... I mean, I wouldn't recommend it to tourists, but I've never been beaten up or mugged.

P.P.P.S: I think I'm probably a city person, but I might be needing a break from the city soon. Can you tell? :P

4 comments:

  1. I love those titles; they're so funny! I can relate to the lighter and cigarette ones. More than once I'll just be reaching into my pocket for my bus pass or taking my cell phone out of my purse and immediately there'll be at least one or two guys asking me if they can bum a smoke. (And I don't smoke. I don't even like candy cigarettes. Who invented those, anyway?)

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  2. Ha ha ha - a girl at my work made fake song titles about our work this summer. I'll email you the list.

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  3. I would still buy that album even if it wasn't a joke ;) That would be one kick-ass album.

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