Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Breathe And Keep Breathing

I did something fairly radical today.

I stood up for myself in a situation where I was essentially being bullied. 

If you know me well, you will realize that this is a big deal.  I'm notorious for avoiding confrontation and never saying things that I need to say.

But today, I put on my favorite gold bracelet, recruited an intimidating friend to stand behind me, and marched into a room to declare the following:

"I AM NOT GOING TO WORK FOR YOU ANYMORE."

I was asked to explain myself, so I gave my reasons:

"I felt like you really beat me up this weekend and I was basically volunteering for you.  I don't deserve to be treated like that."

When faced with a petty argument, I simply turned to my friend and made this announcement:

"I THINK I'M DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION.  LET'S GO." 

So we left.  And we left the man sitting there, his jaw dropping to the floor.  The quiet redhead was not going to put up with being walked on today.

When we were on the other side of the door, I asked my friend if I was a total bitch.  "No, you were a total bad ass," he said. 

And once I stopped shaking and convinced myself I handled the situation appropriately, I did feel quite bad ass.

Except now I'm officially back to square one on the unemployment thing. 

But I think I'm going to worry about that when my E.P. is all done.  Even if I'm eating Ramen noodles on toasted cardboard by the end of it. 

Hi, I'm slightly stubborn.  This being-a-musician thing will work.  It has to.

Not to be melodramatic or anything. 

Someone told me today that the secret to life is to just breathe and keep breathing.  "Everything else will just fall into place after that."  Those sound like good words to live by.  Breathe and keep breathing.

And with that, I should go to bed.  More interesting stuff to come, I promise. 

8 comments:

  1. Go you! You sound like me, always afraid of being too mean, never standing up for yourself when you should. And when you do, you feel bad about it on some level. Big kudos to you for being good to yourself!!

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  2. Awesome!!! Good for you, Lauren!!! You so bad-ass! ;)

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  3. Good job, Lauren! You're such a bad-ass. I wish I was that much of a bad-ass. JEALOUSSSS. =]

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  4. Good for you Lauren! Way to not take crap from anyone! I still have fantasies of someone from SPIN or Rolling Stone calling me and saying, "so I saw your mediocre article about kitchen renovations in that local, unimportant, free magazine and we want you to work for us!"

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  5. Good for you for standing up for yourself. If your job was really making you unhappy, then it isn't really worth the paycheck. I've quit jobs before where they turned to be more stress than they were worth; situations like that just taught me to be more resourceful. And I have confidence that you'll find your way too.

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  6. :) Thanks girls. Good to know you're all on my side. <3

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  7. I'm the same way. I tend to let people push me around because I can't bring myself to be mean.

    I'm glad you stood up for yourself though, you deserve it. A good job will come up for you, I know it will.

    And, breathe and keep breathing? Best advice ever. Something I'm working on right now.

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  8. Goooooo you! And yes, please do keep breathing :)

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