Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Caught In A Bad Romance

I think I have already confessed to you guys that I love Lady Gaga.  I know, I know, I fail at being a true hipster.  But "The Fame Monster" rocked my life when it came out.  I fell in love with her outrageous fashion sense, her bizarro music videos, her impeccable choreography, and her crazy fun beats. 

At first I was somewhat embarrassed to admit that I, the queen of all things indie and alternative, admired this glitzy pop icon so much.  However, it didn't take long for me to become unashamed of the fact that I had joined the ranks of the millions of Gaga fans (or "little monsters") roaming the planet.  "Bad Romance" has been my ring tone for months now. 

She even pops up in my dreams occasionally.  Yes, Lady Gaga is alive and well in the world of my sleeping subconscious.  Once I had a dream that Lady Gaga and I were at Costco together and we were throwing meat around like it was a football.  The intro to "Bad Romance" played repeatedly (probably because my phone was ringing next to my head in real life) and I couldn't help but note that the meat we were tossing around was raw, raw, raw-ah-ahhh.  Sigmund Freud could probably have a field day with all of that.

But I digress.  The point is, I have an ongoing affinity for Lady Gaga. 

That being said, I must confess something else:  I'm not digging her new songs. 

"Born This Way" was fairly contrived and unoriginal.  But it was catchy and I was glad that she was finally coming out with new stuff, so I let it slide.  I downloaded it and jammed out to it on my iPod, being careful not to cringe at some of the cheesy lyrics.

I was a little bit turned off by the video.  I know that Lady Gaga videos are weird by definition, but her slimy, cosmic, alien mythologies took things to a whole new level of strange. 

And then she went public with "Judas" - the ultimate train wreck.  I expressed my disappointment in the form of a lengthy Facebook status.  This only resulted in a conversation with a random Italian guy who friended me because we both like "playing the keytar." 

When I went into the kitchen that night, The Chef was singing "Poker Face" while downing clamato beer (it was on sale at the gas station).  He had read my Facebook status and had his own opinions on the matter.

"Don't be too hard on the girl, Lauren," he says, taking a swig of the bright red liquid in his glass.  "She's boring me too, but I think she's just tired.  She needs to take a break so she can get back on her game.  Her stuff is so lacking right now."

He launches back into a chorus of "Poker Face."  I become slightly relieved that he chose to have this conversation with me in person rather than on my status.  Though I always enjoy a good awkward Facebook moment.  Consider the following:

Note To Self:  Gay Italian Theatrical Electronica jokes belong in the kitchen, not on the Internet.

I'm getting off-track again.  I apologize.  

The moral of the story is this:  Lady Gaga is bumming me out.  

I even ranted about it on Facebook again yesterday after listening to her new single, "Hair."  First, it was received with crickets.  Then, it turned into a conversation about something else.

As you can see, I never heard back from this friend.  I'm beginning to think it frightens people when I refer to my fictional characters as if they are living creatures.  Personally, I think it's hilarious.  But I also think it's funny to list "THE UNIVERSE" as my employer and put my job description down as "Freelance Rock Star."  

It's official - I'm an obnoxious Facebook friend. 

Anyway, Lady Gaga's album comes out next week (assuming the world doesn't really end).  I really want to buy it and fall in love with it, but I don't know if that is going to happen.  I'm already unimpressed.  I'll probably end up streaming it on Grooveshark so I can construct my inevitable Gaga-related Facebook status appropriately. 

Though I don't know if any of my Facebook friends actually care at this point.  But you know what they say:  Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger. 

And with that, I think I'm going to go to bed.  Wow, I think this might be the most trivial post I've ever written.  I'll be back tomorrow to ponder the meaning of life.  Or something like that.  

But in the meantime, what do you guys think of the Lady Gaga craze? 



    I thought it was just me that is not digging what Lady Gaga is bringing to the table. I much enjoyed The Fame and The Fame Monster more and I think she is just being too weird. I'd like to see her go back to the blonde hair and lightning bolt on her face.

  2. I used to be embarrassed about being a closeted Britney fan. I kind of still am, I guess. But I confess it to you here anyway! ;-)

  3. You know, I love her, and I hope she can pull through this, but I'm worried. She's one of my FAVORITES, and I don't want to lose her any more than the next little monster, but she's pushing it...

    I agree with The Chef. She must be really tired. It's been a long, fast paced ride for her, you know. Let her get her bearings and move up. =]

  4. I've actually never understood lady gaga. It's funny all the things you love about her I don't - I feel like she's inauthentic because she's never out of character. She's never seen in street clothes - she's always "on" - I just feel like I can't really trust that. Like she's pretending she's a 24/7 pop star and I don't buy it!

    But I'm not much of a pop music fan - I'm usually the most out of the loop one of my friends when it comes to what's the latest dance hit.

  5. Oh, but my friend Kalli has dreams about Lady GaGa too. So don't feel weird.

  6. I have a bit of a love-hate thing going on with Gaga. I think she's extremely arrogant and off-putting as a person, so as a result I have not particularly liked anything she's done since "Bad Romance." I appreciate what she's trying to do, as you've said, but I HATE Born This Way and all subsequent tunes. I dunno.

    Also, not to be overly annoying, but your Italian friend said "expecially." Really??!?!

  7. I love Lady Gaga. I haven't bought her albums; I usually just download the singles that I like on my iTunes. I'm definitely all about pop music, which is why you'd probably cringe if you saw the rest of my playlist. :) I'm Catholic, and I remember how there was (and still is) a lot of controversy over her Judas song. But I must admit that I still like her anyway. The jury's still out on the Judas song though.

  8. I can definitely picture Lady Gaga playing raw meat football in Costco in real life. She would probably also construct an outfit entirely out of the free samples.

  9. alexis - I'm glad I'm not alone on this either. YES, the blonde hair/lightening bolt should come back!

    Joyful Sparrow - Haha, yeah...Brittany is a little bit worse than Gaga. :P I have to admit though, some of her new songs are pretty catchy.

    Stephanie - Yeah, I'm sure it's gotta be exhausting being one of the most famous pop stars on the planet. She's one of my favorites too, despite all my recent bitching about her. Crossing my fingers that she gets through this slump.

    Allison - Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has Lady Gaga dreams. And yeah, it's pretty intense how she never goes out of character. I think that's part of what makes her so fascinating to me. Now that I think about it, I have never seen a tabloid picture of her wearing jeans and going to a grocery store. I think it's because she really IS from outer space. It's a possibility, at least.

    Bi - Haha, Italian friend's English is "expecially" brilliant. And "Bad Romance" seems to be the peak of Gaga's work so far. We'll see what else she comes up with.

    Neurotic Workaholic - Yeah, Judas was weird. On top of being pretty offensive, the lyrics just didn't really make sense and the song itself wasn't that great. And I totally do not judge you for loving pop music. Though I'm into a lot of indie/alternative music, I definitely sneak around in my car and sing along with Top 40 radio stations. Don't tell anyone.

    Jay - Haha. Maybe the dream was a premonition. :P

    Thanks for all the great comments, you guys!

  10. Oh how much I agree! This isn't the freak show whose gender was up in the air, this is not fun anymore.

    Let's go celebrate Bob Dylan's birthday somewhere...I'm sick of the Gags

  11. Oh, I'm glad I am not the only one getting quite bored/fed up with Gaga's antics.

  12. It took a while for 'Judas' to grow on me but I do like it! The video is strange aka just up her alley. Have you listened to 'Edge of Glory'? I really liked it, it's different for her. I've only had one listen to 'Hair' but it wasn't bad.
    There are always gonna be things you don't like about your fave artists but I love The Gags :)

  13. same here girl........but i liked judas video(i'm not italian lol).....
    but the songs SUCK!!!!!
    btw i heard electric chapel and it's somewhat better than the other crappy songs.......its low, not too funky and has got some good ol' electric guitar instead of stupid saxophone crap.......


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