Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Here's A Little Something From The Vault...

I was digging through my old notebooks today and I found something so laughably horrific that I felt the need to share it with you guys.

It was a screenplay idea that I came up with in college and apparently it was very short-lived because I don't remember much about it.  Somehow, the concept got an entire notebook devoted to it (but only three pages have writing on them).

I've had a lot of good ideas in my life, but this is not one of them.  Without further ado, I present...

Yes, you read that right.  This zombie apocalypse comes with a beat!  I enjoy the fact that even though the word "musical" is crossed out, the whole shabang is still "eurodance-themed."  I also enjoy the multiple misspellings.  Looks like Lauren The 20-Year-Old College Kid needed some sleep!

But wait!  There's more!

If you don't want to take the time to read that mess, all you need to know is this:  Apparently the zombie apocalypse begins because some moron flushes the wrong chemicals down the toilet.  Also, the main character is a hot DJ with pink hair and the story takes place in either the future or 1997 (I couldn't decide).

The next page has a vague plot outline and a lot of arrows.  The only part worth sharing is this:

Suddenly, it's a social commentary as well as a eurodance-themed musical/romance/thriller/comedy.

And then, there are the characters...

I think I thought I was clever because Max Tekramkcots is an accountant and his last name is "stock market" backwards.  And apparently, the main character falls in love with a cute British zombie who is also a scientist who sometimes wears a fez.  

There are pictures (complete with obscure song recommendations!):

Yes, apparently the zombies go to Costco at some point and get down to Ice MC.  And I guess the British zombie guy's name is Romero?  What a subtle homage to George Romero.  Again, I probably I thought I was being clever.  

Also, when has the word "friggin" EVER been in my vocabulary?

It's not surprising that this idea only lasted three pages.  

Anyway, that's all I've got.  I'm going to scuttle off to the kitchen to brew up some tea before I can further embarrass myself in the blogiverse.  

Peace out, amigos.  Be careful about flushing suspicious chemicals down the toilet and, as always, beware of zombies that like techno music.  <3


  1. Belgium: (So hot right now)

    You're hilarious! I'd hate to show you what I wrote in my notebook in university. Most of my ideas were a huge fail. I had written a series of poems for a class in first year and the ones I didn't hand in are so, so bad.

    This was a great way to start my morning :)

  2. Allison - Haha, glad my embarrassing screenplay ideas could get your day started on a good note. Sad thing is, this probably isn't the worst idea I've ever had, just the funniest. I've also got bad poetry simmering in old notebooks. Maybe we should have a TASG theme where we dig that crap out and laugh at ourselves.

    Kris - Haha, thanks! It was too good/bad not to share.

  3. "Young bumbling fat guy with a ponytail that wears a fez" Why does that sound so familiar? ;)

  4. All similarities between fictional characters and real people are purely coincidental. :P


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