So the countdown has begun. 26 days until I move on to my next adventure.
I think I would be more excited if I knew what that meant. But the truth is, I don't know what that means. I have no plan. I have about a dozen half-baked ideas and a couple fairly undesirable back-up options, but no real concrete plan.
I've been thinking so much over the past few days that I've probably given my brain a rash. It's gone past the point of productive thinking and has reached into the realm of anxiety-driven thought loops. I know I need to knock that off. Because as overwhelming as the future often seems, it's only going to get worse if I paralyze myself with stress.
I keep saying I want to leave this town and it seems like it's time. I mean, I almost punched a hipster at a vintage clothing store the other day. If that doesn't mean it's time to leave Portland, I don't know what does.
The good news is that I still have those vouchers for Southwest Airlines that I received for getting bumped in February. And they'll be expiring soon, so I really should use them. I don't even really know where I want to go, I just know I want to go somewhere. I watch the bargain flights everyday. I should probably just book one and go, go, go.
...And do what when I get there?
I can hear the phone conversation now...
Me: "Hi Mom, I'm in Saint Louis..."
My Mother: "What are you doing in Saint Louis???"
Me: "I'm not really sure, but I got a last minute bargain deal on the flight and I think on the way back I might get bumped!!!"
I sometimes wish that life came with road maps...
Listen to "Without a Map" by Sam Roberts :)
ReplyDeleteListening now... oh man, this song is great. Thanks for the recommendation. :)
ReplyDeleteI spent three months living out of a backpack and in a tent while traveling from San Francisco to Colorado, much of it on foot. After that I lived in weekly rent motels and worked temporary jobs for a living for the next year. On a whim I took a flight to Reno, NV for a family visit and ended up staying. I've been here for over 10 years now.
ReplyDeleteThe point of all of this is that you don't have to know where you are going to get there. You just have to take one step forward at a time, follow your heart all the while, and next thing you know you will look back on your life with fond memories and no regrets.
There are no wrong decisions.
Anonymous - Thanks so much for your comment - it was inspiring. You have a very, very good point.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this so much at the moment. The lease on my flat/apartment runs out in 4 and a half months and I have seen the perfect little place in the countyside, but it's about 2 hours drive away from where I currently live - which I know is not on the same scale as your impending adventure but considering i've lived in the same county my entire life, it's a big step.
ReplyDeleteGlad you like the song :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so lucky to have this chance to travel and see the world. That's something I've always wanted to do. I haven't traveled anywhere except to my parents' house in a different state and a couple times to another state for work in the past ten years. I keep telling myself I'm going to travel once I have more money.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could go to New York. I've never been there, but I've heard it's a great place for artists.
Go to New York. GO.
ReplyDeleteYou are a self described world traveler, so that should ease your anxiety. Traveling to new places is part of what you do.
ReplyDeleteIt is important to remember that the only thing that you can control is this very moment. Everything else is make believe. I know this sounds cliche, but one of the best things you can do is to listen to your gut. When something gives you that "this feels right" feeling, don't hesitate and go with it.
Sometimes I wish that I could just pick up and go without any sense of direction. One day, I think I will.
ReplyDelete