Full Moon Madness

There's a full moon out tonight. I can tell. The world is weird. It has been for a couple of days. Today, an episode of "The Real World" broke out in the kitchen. In other words, The Chef and The Fonz yelled obscenities at each other. It was so bad that I left the room.

The whole atmosphere was way too tense, so The Fonz and I evacuated and spent the evening drinking coffee at the hipster Goodwill down on Hawthorne. I tried on the world's ugliest dress. Fonzie almost bought a ratty, tweed smoking jacket. Then we drove home, making up completely offensive raps in the car the whole way back. We made a giant tray of nachos and shared them with The Poet.

Of course, a performance of our new Top 40 hip-hop hit, "Teenage Love In The Winco Beer Cooler," was inevitable. The Poet almost fell out of his chair as we proceeded to be as white as humanly possible.

Then we put on 80's music and made guacamole. The Chef came in to make peace with The Fonz. The two of them hugged and became friends again. A few more people came in and we all ate nachos while singing along with "Total Eclipse Of The Heart."

Me: And I need you mooooore tonight!
The Fonz: I need you moooore than ever!
The Poet: Lauren...why is this coming out of your iPod? Why do you both know all the words?

I blame everything on the full moon.