BELGIUM: I might be breaking up with Maxwell.
CRISPIN: What?! But you’re like, in love with that guy!
BELGIUM: Yeah. But I’m also kind of in love with myself.
CRISPIN: Is that enough of a reason to break up with someone?
BELGIUM: Yes?
CRISPIN: You’re heartless.
TANGERINE: You’re fine dear. I totally support whatever decision you make. After all, it doesn’t have to be the bad kind of breakup.
CRISPIN: Aren’t all breakups essentially bad?
TANGERINE: No no. Ever hear of the Spice Girls? They broke up ages ago, but they still meet up every few years for a farewell reunion tour.
CRISPIN: So when you and Maxwell break up, you’ll be like the Spice Girls?
BELGIUM: That’s what I want, what I really really want.
TANGERINE: You really really really wanna?
CRISPIN: Zigga zigga ha. (bites into a potato chip)
BELGIUM: I just hope this breakup doesn’t go all Pangaea on me.
CRISPIN: Pangaea?
TANGERINE: You dunno about Pangaea breakups?
(Crispin shakes his head)
BELGIUM: They’re the opposite of Spice Girl breakups.
TANGERINE: Yeah. Pangaea break-ups are the kind where you drift really far apart and before you know it, BAM!-
BELGIUM: -You’re Eurasia and he’s not.
CRISPIN: That’s intense.
TANGERINE: Yeah. But don’t you worry. If you do decide to break up with him, I’m sure you’ll have a Spice Girl breakup.
(There’s a brief pause.)
CRISPIN: ...But aren’t the Spice Girls all lesbians?
They go on to pick up a hitchhiker and proceed to have conversations about life, love, and green libertarians from space. It's a fun play and maybe someday I'll post more of it, but the parts about green libertarians from space aren't really relevant right now.
The part about break-ups, however, is quite relevant. This evening I had alert all of my Facebook friends that "Lauren is no longer listed as in a relationship." Gah, I hate Facebook sometimes. I should make a profile for my cat or my keytar or something so I can list myself as in an open relationship with it and totally confuse the universe. But I won't do that. I like to at least pretend that I have a life.
As far as break-ups go, it wasn't horrible. I mean, it wasn't fun or easy, but it wasn't necessarily a heart-wrenching Pangea-style break-up. I'm not saying we're going to be the Spice Girls (I think that analogy is a little weak anyway). But I didn't walk away from everything hating him or being bitter towards him. In fact, I still care about him a lot. We were both fairly miserable though. It was hard admitting it to myself, but things weren't really working out.
We met at a coffee shop outside the mall. We talked. We agreed that it's over. A cheesy 80's song played in the background, proving once and for all that my life really is a sitcom. He drank the last of his coffee. I finished my tea. We hugged and parted ways.
I went into the mall and walked around Macys for a bit. They didn't have anything very interesting on their bargain rack today, but I still had to check. I know this is such a cliche girly thing to say, but shopping always makes me feel better (even when I don't buy anything).
This song was playing as I was browsing the shoe department:
It was a good song to hear at that moment. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but it's only a song away.
Okay, so it sounds cheesy when I write it out like that, but it seemed profound and logical at the time.
Anyway, I should go to bed before I end up writing anything too pathetic. I'm trying not to think too much about everything. I'm trying to just focus on moving forward. Like a shark, right? A shark has to keep moving forward or else it will die. "And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark." If you can tell me what movie I just referenced, you get a gold star.
And with that, I shall go to bed. Goodnight, comrades.
