Oh No!

Something terrible has happened.

I've let my blog become boring.

I'm sure you guys have noticed. Once upon a time, this blog was devoted to hilarious, unfiltered tales of life in a wacky artist's colony and was updated at least twice a week. It was something I loved to write and would spend hours typing away in the middle of the night, immortalizing the world around me into a strange and beautiful comedy. And slowly, something began to happen...

People began to read the things I was writing about. I was astonished. After years of pouring my thoughts into unknown LiveJournal accounts, I finally had a blog that people were reading! There were a bunch of cute little avatar faces lined up in rows under the word "Followers." I got comments from people I had never met in real life. It was the coolest.

But there was an uncomfortable side to this new-found blog personality: People I knew in real life were reading it. At first it was okay - it was just a few family members and a couple of old friends from college who would read it to keep track of me. But The Internet is a very public place, and soon word spread of my blog. Once I met a friend's new girlfriend for the first time and the first thing she said to me was "I've read your blog!" I can't really explain why, but I kinda wanted to punch her.*

As more people from my real life began reading my blog, I found myself having to answer to text messages and emails regarding the things I was posting about. No, that rant I wrote about boys was not directed at you. No, I don't really have a new hipster boyfriend - that was a joke. I'm sorry for making fun of anyone who has a corporate job. AND PLEASE STOP ASKING ME HOW I AFFORD TO LIVE.**

The feeling of excitement that I associated with my blog slowly diminished as the fear of offending someone or revealing too much about my life crept in. I even thought about shutting it down a couple of times, but decided that I should continue to write about my artist community experience in a way that was respectful to the characters involved. I felt good about this decision because most people in the artist community were oblivious to my blog-life and the elite few that knew about lauren vs. reality understood that it was not their place to read it.

And so I drudged onward. But as more and more people of the three-dimensional variety found my blog, I automatically installed more and more filters on my writing. Because so-and-so will read it, and they'll have something to say about it. Blah blah blah.

It's silly, but I've allowed all of this to crush my creativity.

And I've let my blog become boring. I assure you that my life has been as interesting as ever. I've got a back-log of material. It involves clowns, aliens, birthdays, boys, Vietnamese karaoke bars, fur coats, and a musical interlude at a laundromat - and I haven't shared any of it with you because I've been too busy worrying about who is reading my blog and what people are thinking of me based on what they read on this blog.

I'm sorry if this is all more melodramatic than the voice-over narration on a Lady Gaga video, but it's all true. And it boils down to this one conclusion, this one epiphany that I've had and this one commitment that I'm going to make:

I'm done letting this blog be boring.

I'm going to write about the world as I see it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to read it.

This might prove to be crazy, but I'm going to try to blog every day for the month of December. You know, to get myself back into the swing of things, and to make up for October and November.

Anyway, I think I owe everyone who is still reading this a big thanks for putting up with Lauren's Season Of Boredom. Thanks for sticking around.

That's all I've got for tonight. Peace and love.

Also... see you tomorrow. :)

*I also just didn't want her to be dating my friend, so that may have added to the punching impulse.
**Though I'm sure I would be asked this regardless of my blog presence.

So Today Is My One Year Blogiversary...

A year ago today, I created this blog and wrote in it for the very first time.

I had a lot to say on that inaugural day. So much that I posted twice, actually. After my melodramatic introduction, I launched into a bunch of idealistic babble about why I needed to travel the country.

Looking back on that first set of posts is quite strange. It's hard to believe a year has already gone by since I was freaking out about graduating from college and planning the Jack Kerouac-style adventure that never happened. Wasn't that just last month or something?

At the same time, it seems like an entire lifetime ago. I lived in a different town back then. I was still in school. I had completely different friends. I had vague goals for after college, but none of them involved breaking up with my boyfriend, moving into a commune, and starting my solo music career.

I guess you can say I've changed a lot in the past year. It feels like I have, anyway. But then I look at some of the words I wrote last year at this time, and I realize I am exactly the same.

The following excerpt is from Tuesday, March 30, 2010...

I live in America, where all functional members of society are expected to go to school until they obtain a degree that will land them their job of choice. This job will then pay for all the expenses of life but drain the life out of a person in the process.

I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I'll ever be.

The truth is, I've spent my whole life just wanting to make music. That is what really makes me happy. But I've also spent my whole life hearing people laugh when I say that all I really want to be in life is a rock star. People think it's a joke. People think it's impractical. People don't understand why I can't just be "normal" and go after a job that will make good money and suck out my soul in the process.

I'm done listening to those people.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A year later, I'm still sitting here thinking I want to make music for a living. But I'm also beginning to feel skeptical. My friends from my "old life" are quickly becoming balloons in the orbit of society and I'm wondering if I missed the memo. Even the guy that was going to travel the country with me in the name of trash rock now wears collared shirts and uses words like "investment."

But I'm too stubborn to give up on the crazy dreams I have. If I turn out to be the next best failure, at least my stories will be more interesting than most.

Anyway, I'm beginning to get all introspective. The Universe is probably going to show up and demand a cup of coffee if I don't knock it off.

I know I've said this before, but it never ceases to amaze me that people actually read and follow this funny little blog. A year ago, my audience consisted of my bandmate and my mother. Now I have nearly 80 followers. This blows my mind. I was even blogger of the month over at 20 something bloggers. The amount of encouragement you guys have given me is unreal and I am thankful for all of you guys. I didn't expect this to happen a year ago, but I definitely think of some of you as friends (The Transatlantic Support Group is totally proof that you can make friends over the Internet!).

So, thank you for making my first year of blogging a good experience. And thank you for putting up with rambling, self-reflective, link-loaded entries such as this one.

Here's to another year of "lauren vs. reality."

I'm off to acquire some more coffee. Over and out.

Thank You Very Mucho (Mr. Roboto)

So I was washing out a mug in the kitchen after band practice. The Chef was in a corner making little human heads out of clay. The Poet was reading a book and drinking a pot of coffee. The Fonz was drawing his infamous cartoon entitled “Twinkie In A Thong” on the community whiteboard for all to see.

In other words, it was just another normal, fairly mundane night in the life of Lauren.

I chatted with the kitchen crew for a little bit, then went back to my room and checked my email.

I was astonished to discover that I am the monthly Featured Blogger on 20 Something Bloggers.

I knew that Allison had nominated me and that people were voting for me, but it blows my mind that I won and am now featured on the homepage. I mean, it still amazes me that people other than my mother willingly read all of my weird, often rambling posts. Seventy-one people have even clicked the "follow" button. You have no idea how baffling that is.

Anyway, I am definitely feeling rather loved by the blogosphere tonight. When I got into blogging, I don't think I expected people to actually read the stuff I wrote. I am thankful for all the readers who have jumped onto this crazy "lauren vs. reality" bandwagon. Thank you for being awesome. Thanks for putting up with my late night word vomit, for leaving me encouraging comments, for becoming my friends. This blog definitely wouldn't be the same without you guys, so...thanks for the love. You guys freaking rock.


I'm probably starting to sound like a Hallmark card, so I will wrap this up.

I think it's my bed time anyway.

And so I shall say this: Peace out, my amigos. Keep on rockin in the free world.

(More interesting post to come, as usual.)

Relatively Boring Bloggy Updates

So I just revamped my blog layout a bit.  That black background was making me emo.  I always forget how long it takes to do a proper redesign.  I innocently sit down and think "Hmmm, I think I'll change the look of my blog today" and then two hours later I'm still staring at my computer screen yelling "C'mon Mr. Header, WHY WON'T YOU BE CENTERED?!"  Maybe I'm just stupid and it's not really that tedious for anyone else.  But anyway, my blog is now ready to take on the fall season.  And if you are reading this, it is your duty to tell me how the new layout looks.  You have to look at it too, so if you think the color sucks and the picture of me prancing around in a baret is tacky, please alert me immediately. 

I also just discovered that if you log into Blogger in Draft you can read all sorts of stats about who is reading your blog.  Apparently I've been getting hits from really random places like Latvia and Malaysia.  Go me. 

In other news, I've been meaning to get my musical advice column up and running again.  Sadly, I'm running a bit low on emails.  Anybody out there in the universe need some advice in the form of a song? 

Also, while I'm spewing random bits of information, it should be noted that the infamous Steve is trying to get his blog off the ground.  He doesn't update it very often but I bet he would if people besides me read it.  He's generally brilliant and his blog can be found here.  Go leave him some love.  

That's all I've got for now.  A more interesting post will come soon, I promise. 

makeover in the works, yo

Gave this place a makeover today. What thinketh you? Does the new layout look alright or does it look like someone vomited Easter candy all over the font? I can't decide.

I even changed the title of this blog. I was thinking of going all Prince and dubbing it "The Blog Formerly Known as Operation Trash Rock Tour" but decided against it. Best to just let the whole thing evolve into a new creature, right?

The times, they are a changin.