There are 6,697,254,041 people in the world.So why are we all so lonely and sad?
Or maybe it's just me.
Maybe it's just nights like this.
Maybe I just think too much.
I never say what I'm thinking any more.
A friend called me on that tonight. "I never know if you're saying what you actually mean," he said.
"I try to always say what I mean," I say. "But it's hard. It's my defense mechanism not to say anything at all."
I do it without thinking about it. Ask me if something is bothering me and I'll say "no" when I mean "yes." Ask me what I'm thinking about and I'll say "nothing" when I really mean "you" or "something that will offend you." Sometimes I have so much to say but don't know how to go about saying it, so then I say nothing at all.
I think that's why I've always been a writer.
*sigh* This post is becoming more melodramatic and emo than I anticipated. There's just a lot on my mind tonight, I guess.
I should sleep.
Next time I post, it will be something funny, interesting, and relevant. I promise.
I think a lot of us do this - when there is too much on own minds it's best to say nothing rather than unleash all that pent up frustration on some unsuspecting person.
ReplyDeleteLike when I talk about how crappy my job situation is, I end up depressing myself so much that I wish I'd just said, "I'm fine, everything's fine."
Right now I take everything day by day, because I'd never get out of bed if I didn't.
Look at us, what's happening? It's been an emo week both sides of the pond, methinks.
ReplyDeleteLike you say, you're a writer, so at least you don't keep it completely bottled up. And I know exactly how you feel - I tend to dodge those questions too, or at least lie in response. On the odd occasion that I do answer them honestly, I start worrying that I'm boring the person I'm talking to shitless - and so I stop.
What are we like ay. Maybe we should start a Trans-Atlantic counselling session.
Allison - Good to know I'm not the only one that does this. Taking things day by day is the way to do it. I need to do that more. I think about the future too much and then I get bogged down.
ReplyDeleteTom - Yeah, what is up with International Emo Week that we both seem to be participating in? A Trans-Atlantic counseling session sounds like an excellent idea.
Maybe we could even plan it so we're both listening to Radiohead at the same time from opposite sides of the world.
I love the Trans-Atlantic counselling session idea! Creep by Radiohead could be the anthem.
ReplyDelete:D Yes! We can start our own little club and blast Creep from our different corners of the planet.
ReplyDeleteI've never really thought of it that way but I think that's totally true.
ReplyDeleteYES! I'm up for this. But here's the issue, how are we to ensure we're all feeling emo at the same time?
ReplyDeleteAlso, if enough people were involved, Creep's melancholy could blast out to space...astronauts and aliens would be feeling miserable. Given that we don't want to upset lifeforms we haven't made contact with yet, or people sitting in tin cans - far above the earth, maybe we should keep the song at a reasonable volume.
Hmmm, you bring up a good point. Is there a way to ensure we are all in need of Radiohead? Or should we just pick an arbitrary time and date where we all listen to the song regardless of what mood we're in (at a respectable volume of course - we do not want to annoy the extra terrestrials and Major Toms of the universe)?
ReplyDelete