I Can Be Bad, But I'm Perfectly Good At It...

The other morning I was reading The Portland Mercury while drinking my first cup of coffee. As usual, I glanced through the "I Saw U" ads on my way to read the horoscopes. One ad in particular popped out at me.

There, in bold letters, are the words "RED HEAD IN BLUE TRUCK." Guess who has red hair and drives a blue truck? That would be me.

The ad goes on to describe a gorgeous, fair-skinned, red head in a blue truck that apparently mouthed something at a guy with dreadlocks while at a stoplight. It happened at an intersection I've been to fairly recently, though I can't remember the specific day I was there.

I do not remember a man with dreadlocks, nor do I remember purposely mouthing anything at anyone, but I definitely sing in my car and have accidentally hit on strangers before. I have a fairly traumatic memory of some teenage boy crossing the street as I cluelessly got way too into an 80's song once. Thank goodness the light turned green.

I've been trying to think about what songs I've been hooked on lately and what words I might have accidentally mouthed to a stranger. The possibilities are horrifying. I like a lot of legitimately good, tasteful music, but when I'm alone in my car I sometimes bust out the Top 40 hip hop. Don't judge me, it's a guilty pleasure.

And I know it's a terrible song in many ways, but I have to crank the radio up every time Rihanna's stupid new single comes on. I can't explain it. The lyrics are monotonous and replusive. The song itself consists of about three chords. But it's got a beat that I can't resist. Not to mention the whole song just makes me laugh.

Anyway, I have this strange fear that I may have accidentally mouthed something about chains and whips to a random man with dreadlocks on the street corner.

From now on, my car should be an "indie rock only" zone.

That is all.